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 The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )

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ZombieHunterVII
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Zombification : 12
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Posts : 156


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PostThe One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )

Prologue:
After reading a big chunk of another zombie story I was inspired. Now i've always been a quite literate person and i've come to share my tale with you. This is a story of suspense and some unanswered questions. ( Try not to laugh at me. I'm not very great at stories)
( The subject is changed since the revision, adding a few things but keeping the aspect of a storyline. IT MAY STILL SUCK MAJOR MONKEY BALLS Bombs)


It was my first day on the job. My job as a guard at the Waffenfabrik.. Der Riese. I had no clue what I was in store for. Going all the way to Breslau was enough for me. Mein Gott. The place was busy all hours of the day. I was there to keep things in line. I passed by a patrolman later in the day and simply asked him,
" He, Wie geht es Ihnen? "
He shot me a smug look and said
" Ich habe Zeit für das Geplauder, Kind nicht. "
What an Arschloch.

We had started a new experiment the next day. The scientists had been building some kind of machine. Something to do with Die Glocke, I think. There were lots of tests. All of them failed. The top scientist.. I think his name was Edward was directing the experiment under Dr. Maxis, the mastermind behind group 935.. One day Dr. Maxis decided to go out and get his daughter Sam a dog. it was pretty nice of him. But it seemed suspicious..

About a week later I was brought into a test with Edward and Maxis. Samantha's dog got loose and they had to tie it down. They tried teleporting it and it turned into this.. THING. I started to panic. All I had on me was a Walther pistol. I was in deep *word smudged* and I knew what had to be done. Edward pushed me out of the room and locked Maxis and his Daughter in there with the.. Dog.

Edward and I were separated in the teleportation. I popped up near 4 other guys fighting off what looked like living corpses. One handed me a gun and in a deep war-hardened voice told me to " Spray and Pray " I'd never used an American gun before. Nor have I ever been a very religious person. But I pulled the trigger and it felt like home. The gun kicked back against my shoulder but I held my own. When we got a break I asked who everyone was.

The first guy, The American. His name was Tank Dempsey.
The Second was A Russian, Nikolai Belinski
The Third, pretty serious Japanese man was named Takeo Masaki
And finally a fellow German.. Who seemed more than slightly schizophrenic..
Dr. Richtofen.


I loaded the clip in my American Submachine gun, the Thomphson and started shooting. I was tol to aim high, check my ammo and look all around. When we almost got overwhelmed Richtofen pulled out this gigantic gun! Looked like scraps and static to me. When he shot it off, it hit one corpse and they ALL died! it was pretty bad-a. I was thinking this is where my legacy would begin. I would become one in 5 to figure out what was going on exactly.


Last edited by ZombieHunterVII on Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:52 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Revision and Improvement!)
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The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII ) :: Comments

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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:51 pm by jackyboy1384
So far I give you a 7 out of 10. Quite interesting but you jumped quite a large bit of the story when Richtofen meets the others.
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:01 pm by Homicidal_llama2
It's interesting but I don't really understand it & haven't you kind of recycled alot of the stuff I put into my zombie story? I only guessed that Shi No Numa was set in Okinawa, I never read that anywhere else... & also the obvious first person narrative in the prologue. I'm honoured that you've read my story and being inclined to use some of the ideas but it would be nice to see a few of your own Smile .

As for the part I don't understand, in the first bit you say that the name is unimportant but after that you say that it's Richtofen. Why?
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:10 pm by ZombieHunterVII
It's choppy I understand. Something I threw together real fast. it will be edited or rewritten tonight and YES I did use the Okinawa idea. due to the fact that it was really the first place I thought of since I head read your story.
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:53 pm by lovegun
hmmmmm..... a really good beginning story....+1.....are you finished with it...or will you add on more later..??
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Wed Oct 14, 2009 5:05 pm by ZombieHunterVII
There will be more
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Nice story. But it is "Kind, ich hab keine Zeit für eine Plauderei." or something like this and not "Ich habe Zeit für das Geplauder, Kind nicht" Wink
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Wed Oct 14, 2009 7:30 pm by ZombieHunterVII
Translators fail and I'm not incredibly fluent in German
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:22 am by SEBVOS
great story mate make more and more views will come and dose anyone know when map pack 4 will be realeased?
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:36 pm by bmaster2000
nope we dont
only treyarch devs do
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Re: The One ( A Zombie Storyline Tale By: ZombieHunterVII )
Post on Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:58 pm by Verstehen
Zombie what were you trying to say in the german parts? Want to make sure i'm understanding it correctly.
 

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